


certain queer times and occasions

by biohazardgirl (haemophilus)



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Backstory, Dennis Reynolds Ruins Everything Good (TM), F/M, Friendship, Gen, Heterosexism, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Sibling Rivalry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 16:36:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16122503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haemophilus/pseuds/biohazardgirl
Summary: Mac and Dee were good friends in their early twenties.





	certain queer times and occasions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shipwrecks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipwrecks/gifts).



_To enjoy bodily warmth, some small part of you must be cold, for there is no quality in this world that is not what it is merely by contrast. Nothing exists in itself._ \- Hermann Melville

*

Mac was a third of the way through Happy Gilmore and half of the way through a sixer when someone knocked on his door. He looked at the clock on the TV - 6:30 - and glowered. Whoever it was, they were an hour late.

“Door’s open!” he yelled. Truthfully, the door was permanently stuck in lock, but the handle was so shitty that most people could walk right in.

His guest jiggled the door handle and pushed. Didn’t budge.

“Is this some kind of a joke?” his guest said. It was a girl’s voice, familiar, but one he couldn’t place. He tallied the list of potential girls that Charlie might have called up to hang out. Stacy. . .Betty. . .Ingrid. . .none of them seemed right. Mac walked over to the door, and peeked through the peep-hole. For some reason, Dennis’s bird of a sister was glaring at his door. He opened it, deeply confused.

“Dee? What the hell are you doing here?” said Mac. Dee peeked over his shoulder into the apartment. Mac rested his hand on the other side of the door to cut off her view. She folded her arms.

“Charlie left a drunk message on my answering machine about a party,” she said.

Mac laughed. “Jesus. He must’ve been pretty drunk to have invited  _ you _ .”

“Dee!” Charlie cried behind him. He pushed Mac out of the way to get a better look at her. “You made it!”

Mac sighed and put his face in his hand. “Goddammit, Charlie.” He tugged on his friend’s wrist and said, “Sidebar,” before slamming the door in Dee’s face.

“What’s wrong?” said Charlie.

“What’s wrong? You invited Dennis’s weird sister to our movie night!” said Mac.

“Uh,yeah,” said Charlie as if  _ Mac _ was the idiot. “You said ‘invite everyone.’”

“Since when has ‘everyone’ included that bitch?” said Mac.

Charlie grunted in frustration. “We don't have a very wide bench, Mac! In case you haven’t noticed, she’s the only other person who has shown up.”

Mac weighed his options. On the one hand, a movie party all by himself sounded pretty goddamn sad. On the other. . .well, he had never been close to Dee, but his brother hated her guts. There had to be a  _ reason  _ that Dennis hated his sister so much more than other girls. Then again, his reasons for ditching Mac for his frat bros had been pretty goddamn stupid, so who knew with Dennis, anyway.

He gripped the door handle, still looking at Charlie.

“Do you think this would piss off Dennis?”

“Why does that matter? Dennis isn't even here, dude,” said Charlie.

“I know,” said Mac. He nodded, and opened the door. “Okay. End sidebar. We have decided that you are allowed to come in on the condition that you not be a huge bitch the entire time.” 

“Whatever, boners,” said Dee as she pushed inside. “I’m only here for the free beer.”


End file.
